Listen and Read Audio – How to rise above your negative emotions
As human beings, we are made up of several bodies; the physical body, the mental body, and the emotional body.
All three are essential and need to be balanced on the physical plane. When there is an imbalance in one of them, it brings conflict with ourselves and with others.
This Guide focuses on the emotional body, because it is the most difficult to manage and understand, and also because it’s the one that has a large impact on anxiety and emotional imbalances.
It is also the emotional body that can make us do anything. It can influence us in making bad decisions, leading us into conflict.
When unhealthy, the emotional body can and even make us physically and psychologically ill because it has a great influence us.
You can have a perfect body and yet be a total mess emotionally.
Humans can do so much harm or damage to themselves if they are not conscious or do not take the time to take care of their emotional body.
Any deficiency creates a blockage, which inevitably leads to discomfort or illness in one of these three bodies.
An emotion is a physiological reaction, lasting only three to four minutes maximum. It allows our body to respond in an adapted way to a stimulus from the environment: the body is put under tension, energetically mobilized to act or flee.
Emotion has a bio-regulatory function since the discharge of emotion allows the body to return to its fundamental equilibrium.
If emotions are a purely physiological reaction, feelings are a mental construction.
It is an emotional state of a psychological nature, even if a feeling can be an extension of emotion (for example, anxiety in relation to fear, disappointment with regard to sadness).
Feelings are what make us experience an emotion over and over again.
When emotions are intense, we have the impression that our behavior is stronger than we are.
It indeed happens that when faced with certain situations, the brain goes “off,” and it’s the emotions and feelings that take precedence over logic.
Most of the time, the result is not pleasant to see either for the other person or oneself.
But is it inevitable?
What if it was possible to manage 100% of our reactions, emotions, and thoughts.
It is possible to listen to yourself, to respect yourself, to be in harmony with yourself, and therefore with others in all situations.
The key to living in harmony lies in knowing yourself.
There are emotional wounds that, at first glance, considerably weaken our personality and even more so when they are not conscious. When we lack self-awareness, our defects, faults, wounds, and weaknesses become daily limitations.
And the worse is when they are unconscious, they become an invisible and impassable barrier, set up by our mind.
As a result, our behavior seems automatic and uncontrollable.
The good news is that we can grow through our experiences. Our personality is built up day by day through logical conclusions drawn by our minds from everyday situations.
If the judgment is positive, then the experience will be an asset. If the experience is perceived as negative, the experience will be considered as a wound and, initially, as a limitation.
And then it will be integrated into our behavior as something normal. Since our mind learns something new every day, it can learn to transform negative events into an asset.
You can go over the limits that your mind placed on you to move forward and build a peaceful life.
According to Lise Bourbeau, a world-renowned therapist, five major emotional wounds affect us.
These wounds are mostly unconscious wounds that have plagued you since childhood. When these wounds are activated, you protect yourself by creating a persona, so you don’t feel the emotional wounds.
That persona leads to behaviors and attitudes that prevent you from being yourself and affect your relationships.
We all suffer at least two wounds.
However, there is one in particular that has marked us more than the others.
Becoming aware of our main wound helps us to begin the work of healing. The ultimate goal is to free yourself from the grip of the wound so that you can finally be yourself.
The five emotional wounds are rejection, abandonment, humiliation, injustice, and betrayal.
Rejection is the act of ignoring or pushing someone or a situation away so that you no longer have them in your life or at your side.
The mantra in the life of a person who has the emotional wound of rejection is: “I didn’t feel accepted, wanted, pampered and loved.”
Their limiting beliefs lie in the feeling that they don’t have the right to live their life.
They have a deep belief (often unconscious) that well-being and pleasure are impossible and forbidden and that others can’t love them. Key emotions connected to that wound are fear and sadness.
Abandonment is not wanting to take care of someone or a situation.
The mantra in the life of a person who has the abandonment wound is: “I didn’t feel listened to, supported, understood, or emotionally surrounded.”
Their limiting belief is that they can’t be independent; they need others to exist. They can’t see themselves achieving something on their own.
The emotion connected to that wound is sadness and a sense of being empty.
Humiliation is the act of demeaning, ridiculing, and subduing someone. The mantra in the life of someone who has the humiliation wound is: “I felt bullied in my desires and limited in my need for freedom.
I am not allowed to have fun.” They usually nurture the limiting belief that they are not worthy.
That they don’t deserve to be happy and that they aren’t a beautiful being. They tend to choose (unconsciously) to be unhappy in life, which is why they can have self-destructive behaviors.
The emotions connected to that wound are disgust, contempt, guilt, and shame.
Betrayal is the act of not being loyal to someone or a cause.
Those who experience the betrayal wound have the following life mantra: “My expectations were not met, I was lied to, my trust was betrayed, I was used.”
They feed the limiting belief that they cannot trust anyone, and they are unable to be attached to someone because commitment hurts too much.
Being vulnerable is a weakness for them. The emotion mostly experiences by those who have the betrayal wounds are anger, contempt, mistrust, alertness, impatience.
If you don’t dig deep to heal those wounds, you will attract the same situations and systematically reproduce the same attitudes and behavioral patterns in your life, that feed your wounds.
The goal is to heal these wounds so that you can grow and evolve.
Healing lies in looking for the “How do I get better” rather than the “Why do I feel bad?” The strength of the “How” is to transform and move forward.
Rejection: Your deep needs are to belong, to exist, and to love. The solution is to confront your reality by accepting and embracing your weaknesses and qualities.
You can heal that wound by learning to express self-love.
Start by telling yourself, “I love you” daily. Learn to say thank you when you receive compliments and compliment yourself for your good deeds.
Abandonment: Your deep needs are attention, to exist, and to love. The solution for that wound is to become autonomous.
You have to discover your abilities to heal yourself and live by yourself.
You need to acquire the new belief that connecting with others is no longer a necessity, but merely a possibility.
You can heal that would by learning to trust yourself and be your biggest fan. Become proud of yourself by recognizing the daily things you do well and love yourself for who you are.
You can also learn to tell yourself, “I love you” daily.
Humiliation: Your deep needs are freedom and independence. The solution to healing the humiliation wound would be to improve self-esteem by rediscovering that every being is an extraordinary person.
We all have the right to create our happiness for ourselves.
You can heal that aspect of you by encouraging and congratulating yourself every day for who you are and everything you do.
Injustice: Your deep needs are freedom, intuition, emotion, and being yourself. The solution to healing the injustice wound is flexibility.
You need to learn to open yourself up to the world without needing to suffer or create tension.
Trust that everything will go well. You can heal that would by learning to silence your inner critic, become more positive, and express pride toward whom you are.
Learn to reconnect with your intuition and emotions.
Betrayal: Your deepest needs are to be self-confident and free. The solution to the betrayal wound is to learn to let go.
Accept where you are, respect who you are, and learn to listen to yourself.
You can heal the betrayal wound by learning to trust yourself and be proud of who you are.
Know that every human being in his or her life has experienced every wound, at least once, in their life.
Generally, we are deeply affected by two to three wounds. The wound may have been triggered by a single event, or by a compilation of experiences.
Although, be aware that you can heal those wounds with simple steps.
Here are five steps to help you do so:
Step 1: The healing must be a personal commitment of you with yourself. If there are constraints and obligations, it will not work.
Step 2: Put your ego aside and accept that these wounds are part of you; they will open the door to healing. It is completely normal and human to have emotional wounds, which can be conscious and unconscious.
The human is imperfect.
Step 3: Take a few minutes to review the five wounds. Listen to your emotions, your feelings, and your reactions. Your thoughts will not help you. It is your heart that knows what is right and good for you.
Otherwise, I invite you to observe your physical body, which is generally the first shield that a human being uses.
Step 4: Forgive and accept that you had those experiences. To better move forward and evolve, be grateful for your past.
Take responsibility for it and chose to let go of your role as a victim.
Become a leader in your own life.
Step 5: Chose to move away from judging your past and all the negative or traumatic situations you’ve experienced.
Chose to learn from those lessons.
- Let go of the conscious and unconscious emotions related to your past;
- Take a step back to get a new perspective on your experience;
- Learn the lessons from your experience;
- Chose to close the wound and move forward;
- Savor your healing to build a future even better than your present.
- You can do the same for all your wounds.