The Get Your Confidence Back Challenge

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4
Lesson

Day 4. Reclaiming Your Confidence

You might be wondering: now that I know more about what confidence is and how it works, where do I go with it?

Welcome to the Reclamation Project.

From here, you’re going to discover a system designed to help you regain your confidence.

How?

By following several steps, in the form of six questions, you should ask yourself if you’re serious about rebuilding broken confidence.

Once you’ve completed this part of the course, you’ll be well on your way to a new, more confident life!

Day 4:

In today’s lesson, we’ll be taking a look at the first three questions of the six.

Who Are You?

How can you be confident if you don’t even know what your core values or passion is?

Are you the person who gives up, or are you the one who bounces back? Understanding all these things starts by understanding yourself on several levels.

Time for self-examination in these six areas:

·       Your Moral Compass

What do you value? We’re not talking about material objects here, but rather the principles you live by.

For example, keeping your word might be the most essential thing in the world to you.

If that’s the case, how do you feel when you don’t follow through on a promise you’ve made?

How are your decisions impacted by this value?

This is why it’s so important to understand very clearly what you believe in.

This might include your own moral code, your religious beliefs, or the core values your parents instilled in you (or a mixture of all these).

·       Your Passion

What excites you? What are your talents, your interests, or even the reason you get up every morning? If you’re unclear about this, it’s time to figure it out.

You’ll want to spend some time exploring this in the next question.

·       Your Personality Type

Who are you inside? Introvert or extrovert? Control freak or more laid back?

Planner or is spontaneity more your thing? Numerous tools can help you figure this out, starting with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality inventory.

You can find this free test online.

·       Your Biorhythms

Morning person or night owl? Knowing when you’re at your absolute best is integral to understanding yourself. We are all most alert at certain times of the day and nothing in the world can change that.

When are you the most energized?

When do you get your best work done?

·       Your Strengths

What areas do you excel in? Are you more left-brain or right-brain in your thinking?

Are you logical and number-oriented, or are creativity and the arts more your thing?

Make a list of all the areas where you feel you’re at your best.

·       Your Goals

What is it you really want to do in life? You can’t fix your confidence if you don’t know where you’re going. List everything you’d like to accomplish. This is more than a bucket list. This is your mission statement in life.

Once you experience self-actualization, no one will ever be able to put you down again, not even you.

Any criticism is easily shrugged aside. After all, you know who you are.

There’s not a critic in the world who can define you anymore.

When you understand your hopes and dreams, your talents and abilities, and just what you’re capable of, no one can ever take that from you.

What Do You Want?

Confident people know precisely what they want in multiple areas of their life.

We’ve already touched a little bit on the last question, but now you’re going to use that information to dig a little deeper.

So, grab your mission statement and all those lists of things you want to do someday and see how they stack up when you follow these steps toward clarity.

·       What is My Most Selfish Desire?

Strip away all your responsibilities for a minute. No kids, spouse, job, nothing. You have a blank slate and the freedom to do whatever you want. What is it you would do?

·       Consider Your Regrets

We all have things we regret. Oddly enough, it’s usually the things we didn’t do, which seem to matter more. Does that selfish desire feel quite so selfish when put this way?

Probably not. What do you need to do to avoid creating future regrets?

·       Consider the Nitpicky Stuff

What gets under your skin? In this step, you’re going to figure out what really is creating those unhappy feelings in your life. But be warned, there are no easy answers here.

You can’t just say “My job” and think it’s a good enough answer.

What is it about your job you dislike?

What is bothering you the most?

In this answer are the clues to the kind of thing you really don’t want to do…and the glimmer of what you do.

·       Where is Your Happiness?

What is it that puts an instant smile on your face? If you’re unsure, think over the absolute best times in your life. What is the common denominator here? Resolve to do more of this thing.

Knowing what you want out of life gives confidence to every action.

This is where you find not just your path, but the surety of every decision as you start to work toward the things in life that carry the most importance.

Here are your goals solidified and confidence in your direction.

What Were Your Past Successes?

Starting to get a glimmer of confidence?

Now start thinking about times things went well.

Have you won awards or accolades?

What compliments stayed with you?

Any time you experience success, you’re going to feel stronger and more confident. Let’s dig around in your past and see what we can find.

·       Where Did You Win?

This one is easy. Chances are you already have a mental list of the times everything came together just right.

Starting a list of these kinds of successes will give you something tangible to look back on and enjoy.

Try keeping a journal of every success.

·       What Did You Learn?

This one is a little harder.

Not everything you did result in a resounding success.

On the other hand, sometimes, the journey was more worthwhile than the destination.

What knowledge did you gain along the way?

Include everything here from degrees and certifications right on down to the time you learned sign language or learned to play the guitar.

Knowledge is a powerful reminder you’re capable of many things.

·       Who Did You Meet Along the Way?

You gotta love mentors, close friends, and well, anyone who made a serious difference in your life.

Somewhere in your life journey, you’ve probably had several people who guided you on some new path or gave you support that made all the difference.

This is another kind of success. This is a reminder of the fact you mattered once upon a time (and do now) in the life of someone amazing.

What does this say about you?

·       What Risks Did You Take?

At some point, you tried something amazing.

Whether it worked out or not, again, this is part of a ‘you’ who was daring enough to try.

Remind yourself of these things as well as confidence builders reminding you of your courage.

·       What Promises Did You Keep?

Some promises are very easy to keep. Other agreements can be difficult.

Isn’t this a victory as well, and a mark of confidence in your ability to follow through hugely.

The answers to this question are where you should have seen someone to be proud of.

Take this knowledge and add it to your arsenal of confidence.

Now, let’s take some time to implement these confidence-inspiring questions into your life. 


Day 4 Exercise: Building Confidence

After learning how to regain your confidence in theory, it’s time for the real deal.

You need to begin to figure out how to implement our confidence-boosting tips into your life.

That’s where today’s exercises come in handy. We’ll be exploring how you can fit our tips into your life, as well as how you can personalize them to better fit you.

Let’s get started.

Step 1: In Lesson 4, we spoke about how important it is to know what your goals are to maintain confidence.

What are your goals in life, big or small?

List as many as you can below.

List Your Goals Here:




Step 2: What makes you feel unhappy in life? Why is this? List two of such factors and explain why you chose them.

·       Factor 1:

     Explanation 1:


·       Factor 2:

     Explanation 2:


Step 3: Reflecting on your past successes can often instil more confidence in you.

Below, list 5 things from any point of your life that you were proud of.

They can be any of the 5 types of past successes listed in Lesson 4.

·       Past Success 1:


·       Past Success 2:


·       Past Success 3:


·       Past Success 4:


·       Past Success 5: