The Get Your Confidence Back Challenge

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5
Lesson

Day 5. Rediscovering Your Confidence

Reclaiming confidence may seem a little daunting at first.

Just remember, it took a lot of small things to kick away at your confidence, over a long period of time.

It’s going to take some time to fix.

The wonderful part about these six questions is they force you to really look at who you are and who you want to become.

They remind you of the people who love you.

After all, you’re not on this journey alone! Most important of all, you start paying attention to the things impacting your life.

Yes, there’s going to be some changes needing to be made, but it’s all part of the process.

In the end, the confidence you carry with you into the future is going to be stronger than any you’ve had before.

By keeping attention on these six things, you’re even going to find it’s almost impossible to break this confidence once you have it.

That’s remarkable stuff.

So, hang in there. You’re about to find out you’re an incredible person. But then, the hero of the story always is.

Day 5:

In today’s lesson, we’ll be finishing out this course with our last few confidence-inspiring questions.

Who Do You Care About?

Reflecting on the important people in your life helps in several different ways. It aids in reminding you that you aren’t alone. It motivates you to want to accomplish more for the ones you love.

But the most important thing? It is a list of people who will remind you just how great you are.

Let’s look at a few people who matter most in your life.

·       Family

This isn’t always a given, so when you have a great family, be thankful you do. For those of you who haven’t come from terrific families, it’s time to recognize the family you do have.

Chances are you’ve already created one, pulling together the absolute closest of your friends you’ve got to create a new sort of family unit.

These are the people who have always got your back, no question.

·       Friends

These are the people you can call in a crisis, the ones you want to share every tidbit of good news with, and the ones who will hold you, or even cry with you when you’re sad.

You’ve got marvelous people in your corner, and they need to be listed right along with the rest.

·       Your Mentors & Role Models

Mentors and role models can be such a complicated subject.

Some mentors you know and talk to. Some role models you will never meet at all.

Mentors can be anything from coworkers, to people who have traveled the same path as you who are guiding you now in where you’re going.

They’re the ones to advise and inspire. They have answers and frequently support when you need it, which is why they’re so important.

If you don’t have any, then you need them.

Here are some things to consider when looking for a role model or mentor:

- Look for someone who has been exactly where you are now. Make sure they’re further beyond where you are now.

- Look for someone who inspires you.

Even if they’re not doing the same things you are, if you find yourself connecting to their story, then definitely put them on the list.

- Look for someone you want to become more like in some way. These are the ones you want to emulate.

- Don’t be thrown off if your role model is dead…you can still learn from them by researching their lives and reading their work.

The people you care about give you more confidence just by being there in your life in whatever capacity.

Everything you learn from them becomes a part of you.

How Do I Talk to Myself?

When is the last time you honestly assessed your self-talk?

If you are constantly negative with yourself, how can you possibly build confidence?

Let’s examine some ways to change your tune…and your attitude.

Here’s a quick check-up to guide you through your self-talk.

·       Listen

What are you saying to yourself?

Are you being positive or negative in what you’re saying? If it helps, write down notes throughout the day on what you’re hearing yourself say, and look at it before bed.

Were you mostly positive or negative?

·       Rethink What You’re Saying

If things are sounding pretty negative, it’s time to challenge these thoughts as they occur.

Ask yourself if any of what you’re saying is true. It might be there’s an element of fact to what you’re saying, but are you saying it constructively?

For example, if you’re telling yourself, “I’m always late,” you might find it true you’re late, but you aren’t late all the time.

If you have any doubts about what you’re saying, ask yourself if you’d talk to your best friend this way.

If the answer is no, it’s time for a change.

·       Shift the Conversation

Now think how to re-phrase the statement to make it more positive. If it helps, make sure you have the list from before, which has all those positive traits about yourself.

So instead of saying you’re always late, try, “I’m late today, but I was helping a friend so it’s okay. I will be on time the next time I go out.”

When you start positively using self-talk regularly, you’re going to find your confidence growing just because you’re giving yourself constant affirmation, leading to a more positive outlook.

What’s Next?

You’re almost there. Now you just need to do one more thing. You won’t feel confident until you know what you are going to do next.

Set a few short-term goals. Maybe include a couple of easy goals that you can hit fast and build confidence/momentum with.

The idea here is you come up with a plan.

You’ve probably heard this before, but to create goals, you need to be SMART.

This means your goals should be:

·       Specific

Start with a goal you can state clearly in no more than a sentence or two.

·       Measurable

The result must be something you can measure. For example, wanting to lose weight is too nebulous. A better goal would be to lose 10 pounds.

·       Accountable

This must be your goal alone. You must be the one to hold yourself accountable. If you need someone else to make it work, it’s never going to happen.

·        Realistic

This goal has to be something within your reach. For example, while winning the lottery is a nice goal, it’s not realistic.

·       Time

You need a time frame to accomplish this.

From there, you need to look at your goals and determine which are long-term or big goals, and which are short-term goals.

Frequently these smaller goals are going to be steps on the way to reaching your bigger goals.

There’s a lot of information about reaching goals available.

The important thing is to keep a clear vision of your goal in your head, and then to use this vision to get where you want to go.

Having goals clearly builds confidence just by having them. When you set a goal, you’re telling yourself you’re capable of accomplishing great things, and you’re counting on yourself to get it done.

The best part?

Every time you reach one of those small goals, you’re going to give yourself a good-sized boost in confidence.

Now imagine how good reaching one of those big goals will be.

A Few Final Thoughts

These six questions are powerful things to consider. Sure, there’s some work involved here in putting all this together, but your future self is going to thank you for this.

As your confidence grows, you’re going to discover amazing things about yourself you never knew were possible.

Now, let’s take some time to personalize these last few confidence questions to you.


Day 5 Exercise: A Newfound Confidence

We’ve finally reached the end.

Hooray!

Hopefully, you’re now feeling much more prepared to tackle the project of becoming confident.

However, before we let you go to follow your own path, we have one last set of exercises to go over together.

In these exercises, we’ll be digging deeper into the questions of today’s lesson, a step further from simply proposing them to you.

After this, you’ll be ready to embark on your confidence journey!

Let’s jump right in.

Step 1: It’s always important to recognize those in our lives who are there for us.

Below, write about some family members or friends in your life that you are grateful for, and why you’re grateful for them.

Write Your Answer Here:


Step 2: Having role models and/or mentors can be a great confidence booster.

Below, list three people that you think of in this way.

·       Person 1:


·       Person 2:


·       Person 3:


Step 3: In Lesson 5, we spoke about shifting a negative statement into a more positive light.

Below, list two of such statements that crop up often in your life and transform them.

·       Sentence 1:

     Explanation 1:


·       Sentence 2:

     Explanation 2:


Step 4: In a previous exercise, we had you write down as many goals as you possibly could.

Now, we want you to pick three goals from that list that you think are the most S.M.A.R.T.

List these below.

·       Goal 1:


·       Goal 2:


·       Goal 3: