Billy Ojai MasterClass

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Lesson

Day 3. Dealing with Those Disruptions You Can’t Control

Whew, after the few lessons, you’re probably hoping for some good news in all of this.

Thankfully you’ve come to the right place.

There is hope.

You can deal with or even prepare for upheaval in your life, mitigating stress, anxiety, and all those other problems we’ve discussed.

How?

By following this five-point system.

Look at the steps.

1. Acceptance

2. Planning

3. Control

4. Support

5. Mind, body, and health

These steps aren’t hard, but they do require a little bit of work to implement. We start in understanding not just what each step entails, but how it works.

Day 3:

In today’s lesson, we’ll be exploring the first two points of our system: Acceptance and Planning.

Acceptance

Life is going to throw you some major curveballs. There’s no sense in pretending otherwise.

You only need to look as far as your previous history to see this has already happened before.

It’s logical to assume it’ll happen again.

Acceptance can be difficult because we don’t like to think things are going to go wrong.

People are naturally optimistic. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t go out and try new things, create, or dare to live a life beyond the status quo.

For the most part, we’re proven right in this.

But sometimes things go wrong. Here’s where you need to make a conscious choice to accept the situation.

By railing against the unfairness of it, or even flat-out denying what just went wrong, you’re never going to move toward any kind of solution.

Acceptance doesn’t mean the same thing as embracing defeat, though we often think it does.

You might want to consider these quick facts about acceptance:

Acceptance Must be Done First

The rest of this process is pointless if you can’t accept what’s going on around you.

If you live in a wildfire-prone area and don’t accept the possibility your home might burn, you’re never going to take the necessary steps to plan what you would do in the situation.

Denial can have costly and terrifying consequences.

On the other hand, once you accept the house might burn, you’re going to start thinking much more seriously about precisely what you need from it, and how you want to get out.

You Accept, Not Agree

Just because you accept that a situation could occur doesn’t mean you are choosing this outcome.

You only agree the condition is possible, much like we accept the fact that it’s raining without necessarily wanting it to rain.

Acceptance is Conscious

You have to decide you’re going to accept the situation consciously. You cannot reach acceptance by accident, nor is it a natural outgrowth of what’s going on.

Acceptance is always intentional and doesn’t happen unless you have a conversation with yourself where you say, ‘I am accepting this upheaval in my life.’

Acceptance isn’t a Stopping Place

Just because you’ve accepted the situation doesn’t mean you sit down and do nothing.

Acceptance is not, nor can it be the ending place in the process.

There are things you’re going to have to do yet, so get ready to work.

Planning

While you can’t plan for every bad thing that might happen, you should at least have some basic ideas about how you would react to severe disruption to your life.

Planning is part of preparedness, and it’s never too late to start putting together information.

Even if you’re already in the crisis, you’re going to need to do some serious planning as you figure out your next steps.

Here’s where you get bonus points for having backup plans for the original plans too!

How do you plan for disruptions?

First, you’re going to want to keep these two things in mind:

Practice Perspectives

Before you sit down to plan out anything, you need to look at the problem from a variety of angles. You might not be seeing the whole picture from where you are.

Take a step back.

Ask yourself what the long-term consequences might be.

Then move in closer.

What are the short-term issues?

Are there ramifications on health?

Finances?

Socially?

Only when you think you have a good handle on the problem are you ready to move on to the next step.

Figure Out What You Would Do

It’s all well and good to read articles and hear about what someone else did in the same situation, but you might not have the same skills or resources.

You’re looking at what you can do yourself.

What are your limitations?

What resources can you employ?

How can you handle this problem creatively?

Asking these questions helps you keep your plans grounded in your reality.

With these two things out of the way, now you’re ready to tackle the planning process itself.

The most straightforward set of steps looks like this:

Assess the Situation

What’s going on?

If you’re using what you gained from looking at things from different perspectives, you should already have a pretty good grasp of what’s happening in this particular upheaval.

If you’re still unsure of anything, spending a little time gathering data is not only wise but necessary so that you can create the best plan.

If you’re looking to plan for future crises, you’re going to want to do a risk assessment.

For example, living in an area where you frequently get tornadoes means you will want to create an action plan concerning what to do during those kinds of storms.

Make a List

Lists are great because they put out on paper, or at least on screen, what you know and what you have visually.

Things to include:

Problems.

Resources.

Are there trends you need to be aware of about what’s happening or could happen in the future (for example, going back to our tornado example, are there more tornadoes now than there used to be?

Are they more severe?

What do you see yourself needing to get through the current crisis?

What would be good to have on hand should this happen again? What would you want on hand if a new upheaval were to strike?

All of this is your raw data, and you’re going to use it in the plan-making process.

What Do You Need?

As you list out things, you’re likely to notice gaps in your knowledge or resources.

For example: do you know where the exits are from your subdivision if you need to evacuate?

What about the location of evacuation centers?

In another scenario, you might want to have emergency supplies on hand.

Do you know what those would look like?

Do you know first aid?

Whatever you think you need, now is the time to learn it. If you’re in the upheaval already, this is especially crucial.

For example, if you were diagnosed today with cancer, what do you know about treatments or options? Of course, this step can be very hard.

We don’t know what we don’t know. When this happens, our best recourse is research.

Talk to people who have been through it or find expert advice from professionals who have been studying the situation.

Create Possible Scenarios

What do you think might happen from here?

When you’re in the upheaval, you need to have at least an idea of what’s going to happen next.

Sometimes this step can feel very uncertain. In this case, construct multiple scenarios, including the worst-case scenario and a more likely middle outcome.

If you’re planning for future upheaval, you’re going to want to create various scenarios to examine, drawn from the data you’ve already gathered.

What are the most likely things to have to happen?

Now add to these scenarios a possible solution.

Examine the Scenarios

Now you want to take a step back from those scenarios you’ve created.

If you were a stranger looking at them for the first time, what would you notice?

Are the situations reasonable?

Do the results seem logical?

Are the action steps you came up with for solutions things you can physically do, or are they more wishful thinking?

Here’s where you want to knock out the impossible or improbable.

You might want to rework things a little. If you’re not sure, this might be an excellent time to get an opinion from someone you trust in what you’re thinking.

Remember, though, the opinion of your mother regarding your medical diagnosis shouldn’t carry the same weight as the opinion of your doctor. (Unless of course, your mother is a doctor and specializes in that field).

Fine Tune the Plan

Now that you have a clear picture put your final tweaks on what you’re thinking of doing.

Go through it one last time to make sure you have everything you need.

Now, let’s take some time to check out how these tips could have been and could be implemented in your life when needed.


Day 3 Exercise: Coping with Upheaval

Even after learning about our first two steps to coping with disruptions, we’re not done with them yet.

How will you know how to properly utilize them if you don’t begin thinking about how they could be applied?

That’s why, in today’s lesson, we’ll be discussing how they could be implemented in your life.

Not only will we be theorizing about potential disruptions, we’ll be looking into your past to use previous situations. Let’s get started.

Step 1: Think about a previous upheaval in your life.

What could you have done to reach acceptance more quickly?

Below, write a letter to your past self, explaining how to and why you should reach acceptance.

Write Your Letter Here:




Step 2: Imagine possible life disruptions.

What are the long-term consequences?

How about the short-term ones?

Write three of each below.

·       Long-term Consequence 1:


·       Long-term Consequence 2:


·       Long-term Consequence 3:


·       Short-term Consequence 1:


·       Short-term Consequence 2:


·       Short-term Consequence 3:


Step 3: Reflect on a possible upheaval that could occur in your life.

Then, create a plan below using the instructions on making a plan listed in Lesson 3, including the information and resources you would need, and possible scenarios.

Create Your Plan Here: